


Holding together what can not be held

by Quagswagging



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Emotionally Constipated Kevin, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, One Night Stands, Oral Sex, dealing with FEELINGS, unexpected comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 20:09:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20784377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: And so Kevin had to change his approach, to at least get a small fraction of what he had been aiming for. Flirting was something familiar, sex was something he was experienced with. And it was therefore only logical to use that to his advantage. While it might not be the gentle hugging and touches he wanted, it was a good alternative.Kevin is struggling with way the other drivers ignore him. He just wants friendship, but when he realises none of them understand, he changes his approach.But there is one driver secretely keeping an eye on him.





	Holding together what can not be held

**Author's Note:**

> I finished this fic yesterday already but was very unhappy with it. I edited a lot today, and while some of it still feels off, I felt like it was time to post it anyways.
> 
> I always appreciate comments and feedback, but especially on this one it would be very helpful :3
> 
> The idea started out as a way of writing some odd pairings and a lot of smut, but a lot of fluff and plot seemed to have sneaked in, especially towards the end XD
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

Kevin hated to admit it, but he was lonely, almost at the point of being starved for attention. It wasn’t as bad when he was at home in Denmark, where he had family and some close friends ready for him, but at races, sometimes half a world away from everyone who cared about him, he was all alone. 

It was not a secret Kevin wasn’t very well-liked around the Paddock. The other drivers seemed reluctant to approach the Dane, who was infamous for a coldness mixed with a fiery temper, and often chose to steer clear of him Kevin didn’t blame them really, but he just wished someone, anyone, would see through his carefully crafted mask of indifference, and find Kevin was not as tough as he might seem. 

He didn’t ask for much. Just some affection, some human contact. A hug here and there really would do wonders for him and the anxiety that kept building in his chest. He hated being so disliked, even though he understood it had been his own mistake.

He had tried apologising to the others, had tried explaining to them how he struggled showing he cared.

But no one truly seemed to understand.

And so Kevin had to change his approach, to at least get a small fraction of what he had been aiming for. Flirting was something familiar, sex was something he was experienced with. And it was therefore only logical to use that to his advantage. While it might not be the gentle hugging and touches he wanted, it was a good alternative.

And convincing drivers to have a one night stand with him was a lot easier than asking them to be friends, no matter how somber that sounded.

~~

Romain was nothing more than a logical option, someone Kevin had close to him at all race weekends and he did not shy away from him. The Frenchman was outgoing, kind, and Kevin so hoped he would give the closeness he was so desperate for. 

He knew very well it would never have a fairy tale ending. The Frenchman was married, but still Kevin couldn’t resist wanting to get closer to him, just wanting Romain’s affection. 

Anything to just have contact with another human being.

It was easier than expected to seduce Romain, The Frenchman had been very stressed around the time his future in Formula One had still been unsure, making him more open to Kevin’s advances. In the end, it had been Romain who had sought him out, the older man showing up at his hotel room after a race, a torn but determined look on his face. 

Kevin had been surprised, but Romain’s intent had been more than clear. So Kevin took his hand and brought him into the room, bringing their lips together into a messy kiss and letting Romain take charge. 

Romain pushed him to the bed, Kevin letting himself fall back on the covers with a small moan and sighing as Romain crawled over him. Romain leaned down, kissing him sloppily as his fingers pushed through his hair to mess it up.

“Romain…” Kevin gasped as Romain bit and licked at his throat, simultaneously opening the buttons of Kevin’s shirt with one hand. Romain shook his head.

“No talking, please.” he sighed. Kevin closed his eyes for a moment but then nodded.

“Get undressed then.” he whispered, nudging Romain off him and sitting up a little so he could take off the remaining items of clothing he was still wearing.

Romain was swift about it all, grabbing the condom and lube Kevin was holding out to him and pushing the Dane’s thighs apart. He opened Kevin up quickly, not rough but not exactly patient either., and lined the tip of his cock up with Kevin’s hole.

It burned slightly as Romain thrusted into him, but Kevin didn’t mind, the Dane moaning and wrapping his legs around the Frenchman’s waist to pull him in closer. 

“Feel so good.” Kevin purred, running his hands over Romain’s shoulders and back, nuzzling the man in any attempt at getting even closer to him. Romain only grunted softly, his thrusts becoming faster as he closed his eyes.

“Kevin, I…” Romain gasped out after a few more thrusts. Kevin moaned softly, kissing the crook of Romain’s neck before reaching between them to wrap his fingers around his own throbbing cock. He jerked himself off in time with Romain’s thrusts, closing his eyes and moaning languidly as he tried to press as close as possible. 

He felt Romain’s cock twitch inside him and squeezed his hole around Romain’s cock. It was enough to push his teammate over the edge, Romain groaning as he came, rutting through his orgasm as he bit down on Kevin’s collarbone. Kevin came soon after, spilling over his own hand and chest as he whimpered softly.

Romain pulled out of him and Kevin gasped at the loss, trying to clutch on to the Frenchman’s shoulders. Romain rolled off him, refusing to meet Kevin’s eye as he got off the bed to get dressed.

“Romain…” Kevin tried, reaching for the Frenchman to hopefully coax him into some post-sex snuggles. Romain sighed and shook his head.

“I can’t Kevin, I’m sorry.” he whispered. Kevin shuddered a little but then stood up as well, putting on a dressing gown which was way to big on him and padded over to Romain as the Frenchman tied his shoelaces.

“Please…” he whispered, placing an hand on Romain’s arm. He just wanted a hug, a gentle embrace, but he didn’t know how to ask for it. Romain kissed his forehead, a torn look on his face, and then bolted out the door. Kevin followed him there, watching his teammate rushing down the hall before sighing. 

He curled his arms around his own chest in comfort and averting his eyes, feeling empty as he headed back into the room and closed the door behind him.

He missed gentle eyes on him from further down the hall, another driver having caught the moment and understanding what was going on. 

But it all didn’t matter, for Kevin went to sleep alone that night, dreaming restlessly about maybe, just maybe, finding the comfort he needed.

~~

Kevin had always felt attracted to Valtteri. The man was broadly built, and had that typical Finnish coldness over him, while at the same time coming across as really gentle. Kevin felt comfortable with him. And besides, had felt the Finn’s eyes on him more than once, so he knew the attraction was at least somewhat mutual. 

Kevin had started to lose hope on getting true affection from anyone, and realised one night stands might be his only chance at getting close to other drivers. He felt somewhat dirty about it all, but at the same time, he had never shied away from sex before. And he also wouldn’t now.

He went to Valtteri’s driver room after a race, clearly catching the Finn off guard as he slipped into the small space unannounced. Valtteri had been in the middle of changing out of his race suit, only dressed in the fireproof bottoms, which stretched snuggly over his muscled legs and hips.

“Hello.” Valtteri greeted quietly.

“Hi.” Kevin answered breathlessly, walking closer and pressing himself up against Valtteri’s chest, running his hand on the pronounced muscles of Val’s torso. Valtteri seemed hesitant, but then placed a hand on Kevin’s hip to pull him in a little closer, their crotches pressing together. Kevin let out a soft whimper at the pressure, before pulling Valtteri down into a heated kiss. Valtteri easily took charge again, nudging Kevin back until the Dane’s back was pressed against the wall. 

Kevin reached down and palmed Valtteri’s cock through the thin material of the fireproofs, whimpering into Valtteri’s mouth to urge him on. Valtteri had started undoing the button of Kevin’s jeans, tugging them down and reaching around him to squeeze Kevin’s ass. 

“Turn around.” Valtteri whispered. Kevin did so reluctantly. He would have much rather stayed in Valtteri’s embrace. He patted around in his pocket and got out a condom, offering it to Val over his shoulder. The Finn took it, pressing a kiss to the side of Kevin’s throat as a ‘thank you’. 

“Let me get some lube.” Valtteri muttered, and Kevin whined as his warmth left him. He sighed as he braced himself against the wall, waiting for Valtteri to return. His hips jerked a little when slicked up fingers pressed into him, making sure he was coated sufficiently, before something more blunt nudged against his hole. 

Valtteri’s cock was thick, and Kevin groaned as Valtteri pushed into him. Valtteri’s lips soothed the side of his neck as the Finn stayed still inside him for a moment to give Kevin time to get used to the stretch. Kevin clutched on to the arm Valtteri had wrapped around his waist, tilting his head back.

“Move…” he gasped. Valtteri groaned softly but moved his hips back, before sharply thrusting into the Dane. Kevin quickly found himself lost in the pleasure building in his stomach. Valtteri’s cock nudging his prostate on every thrust. Kevin had started to tremble, trying to reach down to wrap his fingers around his cock only to have Val slap his hand away. 

“Let me, babe.” he whispered, his own strong hand wrapping around Kevin’s cock. Kevin whimpered as Valtteri dragged his thumb over the weeping tip of Kevin’s length, Valtteri groaning as Kevin clenched around him in return. He tilted Kevin’s face back towards him and kissed him, messily licking into Kevin’s mouth as the Dane gasped

“God you would look so pretty with cum all over that angelic face of yours.” Valtteri groaned as Kevin blinked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Then do it.” Kevin gasped. “Cum over me.” he moaned. He whimpered when Valtteri suddenly pulled out off him, his hole clenching around nothing. He let Valtteri turn him around and push him onto his knees. Kevin feeling vulnerable and exposed as he looked up at the Finn. 

Still, Kevin fluttered his eyelashes innocently, parting his lips and sticking out his tongue with a wanton noise. His chest heaved as he looked up at Valtteri looming over him, the Finn throwing away the condom and wrapping his hand around his cock again

“God you look gorgeous.” Valtteri groaned, jerking his cock as his eyes stayed focused on Kevin’s face. Kevin felt almost flattered, needily whining as he dragged his nails over Valtteri’s thighs to urge him on.

Valtteri came hard, thick spurts of cum landing on Kevin’s face and neck and making the Dane gasp and shudder. Valtteri seemed almost in awe as he looked down on the Kevin, before promptly falling to his knees opposite him and leaning in to lick and kiss the cum of Kevin’s skin, one hand wrapping around Kevin’s cock again to jerk him off with quick motions.

Kevin gasped as he came, trying to press close to the Finn as his body went limp in pleasure. Valtteri held him, muttering in Finnish to him as Kevin tried to get his body under control again.

“That was good.” Kevin sighed, Valtteri humming in agreement. Kevin rested his chin against Valtteri’s bare shoulder, closing his eyes with a small smile on his lips as Valtteri continued to hold him close. Both men tensed when there was a knock on the door.

“Press conference in 10 minutes, Valtteri.” someone said from the hallway. Valtteri sighed, pushing Kevin away a little and brushing his fingers over Kevin’s cheek.

“Sorry.” he muttered, helping Kevin up onto his feet again. The Dane blushed slightly and pulled his boxers and jeans back up. 

“It’s fine. Thanks.” he muttered awkwardly, carding his fingers through his hair to make himself look somewhat presentable. Valtteri reached for him, but Kevin had already slipped out the door, sneaking out of the Mercedes building without looking back.

Again, Kevin didn’t go unseen. Blue eyes watched the Dane struggle to keep the mask of indifference on his face. Kevin felt the stare on him this time and turned.

“Fuck off, Hulkenberg, mind your own business.” he hissed. Nico sighed and stepped closer to him, but Kevin glared at him and only quickened his pace, practically running towards the Haas garage to avoid having to interact with the German.

Nico shook his head and headed the other way.

He doubted Kevin would accept his help anyways

~~

Max was a different story really. The young Dutchman reminded Kevin of himself, fiery and young and maybe just a little bit understood. He figured Max would maybe understand his needs, might even be looking for something similar. But he knew it was still a long shot. 

The young man seemed eager enough when Kevin cornered him in one of the Paddock bathrooms, blue eyes wide and curious as Kevin locked the main door behind him after making sure the stalls were all empty. Max continued to watch him from where he was washing his hands at one of the sinks, looking at Kevin through the mirror. 

“Hi.” Kevin muttered softly, coming up to stand behind the Dutchman and looking into the mirror as well. Max only hummed in answer, wet hands resting on the sinks edge as he made no move to get to the dryers. Kevin peeked up at him for a moment, before tugging Max’s collar aside a little and attacking the tender skin with his lips. 

Max let out a soft sigh, tilting his head to the side to give him more room. Kevin let out a soft sound in appreciation, hand brushing over Max’s stomach and down, coming to rest on the belt holding Max’s jeans up. Kevin lifted his head, pausing until Max gave him a nod. He opened the man’s belt with swift movements, not stopping his licking and sucking at Max’s throat as he shoved his hand into Max’s jeans.

Max’s cock was already half hard as Kevin palmed him through his boxers. Kevin pushed the Dutchman’s jeans down more so he could fully free his cock. He moved his attention to the man’s balls momentarily, squeezing them gently. 

“Oh god…” Max groaned, mouth falling open. Kevin gently nibbled on the sensitive pulse on the side of Max’s neck, using both hands now to play with Max’s cock and balls. Max’s chest was heaving, the younger man moaning and sighing as the Dane continued his touches.

“Are you gonna cum for me, pretty boy?” Kevin whispered in Max’s ear. Max gasped and nodded, his grip on the sink tightening until his knuckles turned white. Max’s eyes closed and then he tensed up, cum spurting over Kevin’s hands. Kevin kept his hand moving until Max got to sensitive, the young man shuddering and trying to pull away from Kevin’s touch. 

Kevin stepped away and walked over to another sink to wash his hands, letting Max sort himself out. 

“Thanks.” Max said after an awkward moment of silence. Kevin sighed and gave him a small smile. He tensed when Max walked over, the Dutchman leaning in to press a soft kiss to Kevin’s jaw.

“You want me too..?” Max asked, hand inching closer to the bulge in Kevin’s jeans. Kevin shook his head slowly, just savouring the way Max was pressed against his side.

“No, it’s okay. The team must wonder where you are by now.” he muttered. Max seemed a little surprised, but then nodded.

“Okay. That was… good though. Thank you.” he muttered, pressing a chaste kiss to Kevin’s lips before leaving the bathroom. Leaving Kevin to stare at himself in the mirror.

Kevin was unsure how long he stood there, his left side feeling a little warm still from where Max had pressed against him before he had left. His hands were shaking and there were tears in his eyes, but he did not allow those tears to fall. He felt alone, empty as he had after all the other encounters he had had with other drivers. No matter what he did, none of them had sought him out after, leaving Kevin to still be alone during driver’s parades and the likes. And yet Kevin couldn’t stop, for the sex was all the affection he got during the long weekends in foreign countries.

“Are you alright?” a cautious voice asked behind him. Kevin lifted his head after a sharp intake of breath, feeling his heart skip a beat when he spotted Nico behind him through the mirror’s reflection. Kevin didn’t speak, standing frozen in place like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Kevin?” Nico asked again, a small frown on his futures.

“I’m fine.” Kevin snapped, trying to make a dash for the door. Nico caught his wrist.

“Why was Max with you? Did you two…” he trailed off. Kevin snatched his wrist back.

“None of your goddamn business.” he growled, purposefully bumping his shoulder into Nico’s to make him stumble back as he stomped over to the door and out into the Paddock.

“Asshole.” Kevin snapped over his shoulder, not looking back and therefore missing the hurt and worry in the German’s eyes.

~~

Kevin was getting more and more desperate as time went on, and he knew it was starting to show. He was fairly certain that when Checo took his hand and tugged him into an empty office, it was solely out of pity. The Mexican spoke gently to him in Spanish, caressing his cheeks in a fond gesture as he pushed Kevin to sit down in one of the chairs. 

“Oh cariño, por qué te torturas tanto?” Checo whispered, pressing a kiss to Kevin’s forehead before kneeling down between his legs. Kevin felt numb, his hands trembling on the chair’s armrests as the Mexican started undoing his belt.

The gentleness, the Spanish words, it all reminded him too much of Fernando, how fond the Spaniard had been of him a long time ago, when Jenson had still been there and the two had babied the younger drivers. How during the year Kevin had been demoted to test driver at McLaren, Fernando had been there for him, had endured Kevin’s rage at the Spaniard replacing him and had eventually made the Dane trust him again. 

Not that any of it mattered anymore, whatever warm, fatherly feelings Fernando had held towards Kevin, they were long gone now. Kevin missed them, that was certain, but even if he would apologize for his behaviour, Fernando might not forgive him. And being that vulnerable to the Spaniard scared him.

“Kevin, are you still with me?” Checo asked curiously, running his hands over Kevin’s thighs, all the way up to his undone fly.

“Y-yeah, sorry.” Kevin muttered. Checo hummed and reached into Kevin’s boxers, palming the man’s cock. Kevin shuddered a little, closing his eyes and deciding to just focus on the feeling, not on the melancholy in his heart. Checo took Kevin’s half hard cock out of his boxers, spitting on his hand before wrapping it around the cock’s base.

“Feel good?” Checo asked softly as he slowly stroked Kevin. Kevin let out a whine and nodded, eyes fluttering open just in time to see Checo leaning in. The Mexican warm mouth wrapped around the tip of Kevin’s cock, and it only took a few bobs of Checo’s head before Kevin’s cock was fully hard. Checo pulled away for a moment, taking a deep breath, but then relaxed his throat to take the whole length down in one go, his nose brushing against the blond hair around the base.

Kevin cursed in Danish, his fingers curling into Checo’s hair as the Mexican pulled away a little. Checo let him take the lead, Kevin using his grip on Checo’s hair to guide the Mexican’s mouth over his cock. Checo was looking up at him, brown eyes wide, but Kevin felt uncomfortable under the man’s stare. He tugged Checo’s hair a little tighter, lifting his hips to properly fuck into Checo’s mouth, making him gag.

He could only warn Checo with a grunt before he was spilling in the man’s throat, hands quivering as he kept Checo’s head firmly in place. 

When he let go, sinking back down in the chair in a limp heap, Checo pulled away, coughing and gasping a little as he wiped spit and cum off his chin with his sleeve. 

“Sorry.” Kevin whispered as Checo’s breathing still wheezed a little. Checo glanced up at him, and surprisingly enough, his eyes were calm.

“It’s okay.” he answered, getting up and shaking his legs a little to regain feeling in them. Kevin wordlessly offered him his bottle of water, which Checo took gratefully. 

“You might want to put yourself away.” Checo said between sips, gesturing towards Kevin’s crotch. Kevin blinked and then nodded, tucking his cock back into his boxers and buttoning up his jeans again. 

He stood up on shaky legs, still eying Checo a little uncomfortably. Checo gave him a gentle smile, and for a moment Kevin was tempted to ask Checo for a hug, relatively certain the Mexican wouldn’t mind holding him for a while. 

Checo’s phone rang and broke the moment. Checo took another sip of water, nodding at Kevin for answering.

“Yeah? Oh hello Nico. No, am with Kevin…” the Mexican started to speak. Kevin felt himself pale, panic filling his chest at the mere mention of the German.

“I got to go. Thanks.” he muttered wearily at Checo, before rushing out of the room.

~~

Kevin fucked Charles behind the Ferrari motorhomes. 

The Monégasque had been giving him looks all week, intentionally brushing up against him as they passed each in the Paddock, and giving him soft, flirty smiles whenever Kevin looked over to him. Just after one of the practise sessions, Kevin had found the Monégasque waiting for him near the Haas building, nibbling his lip nervously and pressing a note into Kevin’s palm before rushing off again.

Kevin raised his eyebrow at the method, but still followed the notes directions to the small alley behind the Ferrari motorhomes. Charles seemed flustered he had even showed up, but stopped dumbly staring at him when Kevin just sighed and kissed him hard. Charles’s lips were soft under Kevin’s, the Monégasque’s body pliant against his as Kevin rutted their crotches together. It made something clench in Kevin’s chest, but at the same time he felt almost numb.

“I opened myself up for you.” Charles whispered against Kevin’s lips, shuddering as Kevin’s hands cupped his ass through his jeans. 

“Oh yeah? You’re not so innocent after all then.” Kevin whispered in return, turning Charles around and letting him brace against the wall as he tugged the man’s jeans down.

“No underwear either? Dirty boy.” Kevin purred, knowing just how those words would turn Charles on. He was right as the younger man moaned and jutted his ass out more. Kevin wanted to feel more than just arousal, wanted to feel affection for the young man. but he didn’t. He had long forgotten what it was like to truly care about someone. 

Stiffling a sigh, he unbuttoned his jeans with one hand, his other hand spreading Charles’s cheeks apart and then pressing his fingers into the Ferrari driver’s heat. Charles had not lied, his hole already open and slick, hot as it clenched down on Kevin’s fingers.

He didn’t waste time and spat on his hand to slick up his cock, pressing the tip against Charles’s hole. He paused, waiting for Charles to become impatient. The Monégasque whimpered and pushed his ass back, groaning as Kevin’s cock breached him. 

“Don’t hold back.” Charles sighed contently, wrapping his hand around his own leaking cock as Kevin started to pound into him. Kevin groaned as he snapped his hips in quick movements, biting down on the back of Charles’s shoulder to stiffle the sounds. 

He felt hot and tingly. but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to cry. Another driver yet again only wanted him for his body, only wanted him for sex. Kevin closed his eyes and dug his fingers into Charles’s hips with a bruising strength. He didn’t try to slow down, didn’t try to make this more gentle. It didn’t seem to be what Charles wanted anyways. 

The young man was babbling nonsense in French, gasping every time Kevin pushed into him and nudged his prostate.

“S'il vous plaît… S'il vous plaît, Kevin…” Charles gasped. Kevin groaned, tugging on the man’s fluffy hair to tug his head back. He kissed Charles hard again, tongue swiping into his mouth to catch every little sound the man let out. 

Charles came first, spilling against the wall as his knees trembled under him. Kevin kept him up, his thrusts not slowing as he fucked the man through his orgasm.

Kevin came with a sob, spilling deep inside Charles as he let his head fall to the Ferrari driver’s shoulder. It took a moment before he was able to catch his breath, and for him to realise Charles was trying to turn around with a worried look on his face

“I… Kevin?” Charles whispered, patting at his cheeks. Kevin swallowed thickly and pulled out of him in a swift movement, making Charles gasp.

“I better go.” Kevin muttered, attempting to clean himself with a tissue before giving up and simply getting dressed. Charles tried to reach for him, tried to give him a hug, but Kevin didn’t even notice anymore.

“I’ll see you around.” Kevin muttered, before jogging away.

Of course he had to run into Nico, literally this time. The German caught him against his chest as Kevin tripped, gently holding him in place.

“Kevin…” he started. Kevin shoved him away.

“Just save it.” he snapped, tears filling his eyes. “I-I don’t want to hear it anymore.” he hiccuped, angrily wiping at his eyes as he ran away again. Getting as far away from the German as possible.

~~ 

Kevin felt like jumping out the window when he found Nico waiting for him at his hotel room door a few weeks later, the German casually leaning against the wall next to the door. Kevin contemplated simply walking past him and pretending like this wasn’t his room, but he knew it was no use.

“Kevin.” Nico started as Kevin pressed his keycard into the door to unlock it. Kevin only sighed and opened the door.

“Come on in then.” he muttered. walking into the room and towards the bed. He knew Nico was only here to have sex with him, knew the German would otherwise never pay attention to him. He heard Nico walk in to the room, the door falling shut behind him as the German took off his shoes. 

Kevin wordlessly took his own shoes off as well, before taking off his shirt too and crawling onto the bed, rolling onto his side and looking down on his hands as he waited for Nico to join him. He felt the bed dip in as Nico crawled on as well, the German pressing up against his back and wrapping an arm around Kevin’s waist. Nico nuzzled his face against the back of Kevin’s shoulder and Kevin felt numb, not in the mood for any type of sex. but Nico didn’t kove, didn’t try to undress Kevin further or to even kiss him.

“Well hurry up then.” Kevin snapped, his voice almost breaking. “If you want to fuck me, don’t make me wait.” he hissed, jutting his ass back. Nico didn’t speak at first, but his arm tightened around Kevin’s waist. The German sighed, soothing rubbing his fingers over Kevin’s hip.

“I don’t want to have sex with you. I just want to snuggle, you look like you need it.” he whispered. Kevin tensed up, even forgetting how to breathe.

“Don’t lie to me, please.” he whispered shakily, screwing his eyes shut as he let out a strangled sob. Nico shook his head, pressing a kiss to Kevin’s shoulder.

“I’m not.” he answered. “Please just let me comfort you.”

Kevin started to cry then, his chest heaving with painful sobs. Nico rolled him over, letting him bury his face in his chest as he soothingly rubbed his hand over Kevin’s back.

“Let it all out, darling. I’ve got you.” he whispered. Kevin tried to fight against his hold, unsure why Nico was being so nice to him. But Nico was determined, his lips brushing over Kevin’s forehead as he whispered soothingly in all the languages he knew.

Kevin cried for a long time, until his chest hurt and his eyes stung. He limply laid against Nico’s chest then, too tired to move or protest any longer. Nico was gently brushing his fingers through Kevin’s hair and massaging his skull. Kevin was grateful for it, for after all the crying, his head was pounding painfully. 

“Why…” Kevin whispered hoarsely. “Why would you help me.” he clutched on to Nico’s shirt a little tighter, afraid the German would push him away. He finally had the gentle affection he had been hoping for, and he was reluctant for it to end. 

“I saw you had been sleeping with the other drivers, but you seemed unhappy about it. And then Checo explained what had happened between the two of you… and I realised that for you it wasn’t about the sex.” he explained softly. Kevin let out a shuddery breath.

“You must think I’m stupid, weird…” Kevin rasped. Nico shook his head.

“I don’t. I hate seeing you in pain like this.” he whispered. Kevin shuddered, letting out a strangled sob.

“I-I just wanted them to like me, but I think I only made everything worse.” he groaned. Nico pressed a kiss to Kevin’s forehead.

“Checo understood. I think he made the others understand too.” he whispered. Kevin felt panicked at the thought of all the other drivers finding out his weakness, but Nico kissed the top of his head and somewhat soothed his worries away.

“It is only human to want some friendship and love, Kevin. I’m sorry none of us realised you were so deprived of it.” he muttered. Kevin closed his eyes, feeling vulnerable as Nico seemed to easily see through all his masks and acts. 

He then tilted his chin up, looking Nico in the eye for a moment, before leaning in to press a kiss to Nico’s lips. Nico sighed and kissed back instantly, his fingers curling around Kevin’s cheek in a tender gesture. 

“I want to help you, if you’ll let me.” Nico whispered. Kevin frowned.

“Help me?” he asked. Nico gave him a soft smile.

“I care about you. And I want to make you happy.” he whispered. “So if you’ll let me, I’d like to spend more time with you…” he seemed a little unsure of himself now, his cheeks flushing a light pink.

“I’d like that.” Kevin said with a trembling voice. Nico grinned and kissed him again.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he asked. Kevin sighed and nodded.

“Yes please.” 

That night, Kevin fell asleep in Nico’s arms, for once feeling at ease with the body wrapped around him.

He could get used to this, he figured. He just hoped the rest of the Paddock would accept him too. 

~~

Nico wrapped his arm around Kevin shoulders as they headed into the Paddock, the Dane fidgeting nervously as this was the first time he would see most of the drivers after the whole ordeal where Nico, and Checo, found out his secret and explained it to the others. 

“Are you okay?” Nico asked him softly. Kevin nodded, cuddling a little closer into Nico’s side.

“Nervous.” he said, voice slightly clipped. 

They ran into Checo first, the Mexican greeting them kindly before leaning in to hug Kevin. Kevin blinked in surprise but then leaned into the embrace, closing his eyes momentarily as Checo rubbed his back.

"Good, no?" Checo chuckled as he pulled back and patted Kevin's cheek. Kevin averted his eyes but then nodded hesitantly.

"Take care of him, Hulk." Checo tutted at the tall German, before winking at them and sauntering off again. 

"Oh Kevin, there is someone waiting for you in your driver room." He called over his shoulder, a soft look coming onto his features. Kevin glanced at Nico, but the German seemed as confused as he felt.

"Thanks." Kevin muttered, before clasping his hand in Nico's again and tugging him along. He liked the Mexican’s kindness, but he still felt a little flustered about it all.

“Kev!” The Dane turned to see who had called his name. Max and Charles both jogged over, pulling Kevin between them as they both threw an arm around him, Hulk standing aside for a moment. Kevin huffed a little when Max teasingly kissed his cheek but snuggled a little more into their hold. Especially Charles seemed very intent on cuddling the Dane, letting out a happy hum when Kevin patted his hair. 

“We need to go, apparently there is someone in my driver room.” Kevin told the two youngsters. Charles pouted a little, while Max rolled his eyes and grabbed the Monégasque’s hand, pulling him along again.

“See you later!” he called over his shoulder, giving Kevin a last wave. Kevin turned back to Nico as they continued to walk. Nico was watching him with a tender expression, making Kevin pout a little. 

“Stop it.” he huffed, softly hitting Kevin’s chest, but the German only chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. 

Valtteri passed them when they almost reached the Haas hospitality, the Finn briefly squeezing his shoulder before rushing off again. It was a big show of affection for the Finnish driver, and Kevin appreciated it. 

“Come with me?” Kevin asked softly as Nico hesitated a little in front of the Haas hospitality. Nico hummed and then followed after him, keeping a hand on Kevin’s waist as Kevin lead the way to his room. Just as Kevin placed his hand on the the doorknob, Romain came out of the room next to his.

“Oh, hello.” the Frenchman greeted, eyes falling on Kevin. Kevin nodded silently, uncomfortably nibbling his bottom lip. Romain pulled him into a hug, kissing Kevin’s temple.

“Sorry, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.” he whispered. Kevin sighed and snuggled further into his hold.

“It’s okay.” he whispered, and it really was okay.

Kevin absentmindedly reached for Nico’s hand again as he finally opened the door to his driver’s room, walking inside.

“Kevin…” gentle voice called. Kevin’s eyes widened when he realised who was in his room.

“Nando..?” he asked with a hint of disbelief in his voice. The Spaniard sighed and stood up from the small sofa, walking over to draw the Dane into his arms. Kevin didn’t know what to do, completely tensed as Fernando gently rubbed his back. 

“I’m so sorry, cariño, did not know you thought I hated you so much. Is not true…” Nando whispered, pulling back a little to look Kevin in the eye.

“I care about you, even if I have not showed it well to you.” the Spaniard continued. Kevin sniffled and averted his eyes, before snuggling into Fernando’s hold a little more.

“I’ve got you.” Fernando whispered as Kevin sobbed softly. 

It was odd, being back in the Spaniard’s embrace, and Kevin finally realised that maybe, Fernando pushing him away had been the start of Kevin pushing away everyone else. But everything had been solved now, even Fernando back again. Kevin peeked up at Nico over the Spaniard’s shoulder, giving him a tender smile.

He had Nico to thank for everything, the German making him realise he was not as hated as he thought he was.

“I forgive you.” Kevin whispered to Fernando. “Of course I do.” Fernando let out a shaky sigh, pulling back to clutch Kevin’s face between his hands.

“Thank you darling, I promise I’ll make it up to you.” he whispered, before turning to Nico. “We all will.” 

~~

That night, Kevin fell asleep in Nico’s arm again, their bare legs tangled together and Kevin’s head resting on Nico’s chest as the Dane lazily drew circles with his fingers on Nico’s ribs.

“I love you.” he whispered softly, tilting his head up to look at Nico. Nico grinned down on him, leaning in to nuzzle their noses together.

“I love you too. You and all your quirks.” he whispered. Kevin stuck out his tongue with a huff, but then smiled tenderly.

“Just shut up and hug me.” he purred. Nico brought him closer with a chuckle, kissing him softly as he drew him closer.

“My pleasure.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: bwoahtastic


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